different.

mmm, things are going okay.
i've been going out more & stuff. lately i've been to like all of erika's meets.
its supposed to be my inspiration to work out more, yet it's failed to do so :/
i'm kinda over the whole school thing, haha. so i think i've studied enough
for the IB tests, i pretty much know as much as i'm going to & all so no need
to stress about it. i got a job this week which was cool, so i'll officially be
a little caesers employee starting tommorow, haha. yeaa i just need to work so
i can buy stuff for college & my dorm and all. i think my big purchase is going
to be a new lens for my camera though. mmm, met new people who i've found to be
veeery good friends :) yay for meeting new people ! but anyways i'm about to go
erika's house to kick it ill write later.

windy.

today was supposed all sunny and nice, but it was suuuuper fckn cold because of the wind -__- school was alright. left sixth period to go to the track meet early & just sat on the bleachers with sandra. hung out with elisha, ebony, and andrea & watched erika throw, which was like my first time seeing my best friend throw :) haha. then kicked it on the field with andrea and make fun of all the people at my school trying to jerk, ahaha. it got even colder and so i was like freeezing my ass off. i actually like track though, watching it not actually running, haha i'm not into running for fun, lol. i'm jealous though, all the girls who run track have a nice ass, haha. but anyways now i'm home & i'm probably just gonna do some studying and then go to sleep, lateeeee.

monotany.

this monotany occuring every day is getting old, lol.
gimme some action pleaaaaase ! haha. i need something
exciting goin' on.

so everyones all planning for prom & stuff now that
then end of the year is coming close & nostalgia is
running high, too bad i'm not going to prom, lol.
which basically exemplifies my whole high school
experience. i had no school spirit, spent more time
in the library doing homework than anything else,
went to like 1 lameee school dance, and never
participated in a school spirit day. haha so basically
high school sucked & my nostalgia is near inexistant.
the one thing i will miss is being so close to all my
classmates. me & jessica were talking today about how
being in IB during high school is just like an
extension of like elementary school and stuff because
we have all the same people in our classes. lol, while
everyone else on campus is all excited at the beginning
of the semester to see who they're gonna have in their
class, we come to school on the first day knowing who
our classmates are, where we're gonna sit during class &
we pull out like assignments we've been working together
for like the last year. lol. it's only in IB that you'll
find like the most artistic, best overall male, valedictorian
and most athletic. & it's so fitting that they whole IB class
was voted Great Oaks Most Stressed, lol. i hung out with people &
became really close with people i never thought i'd
even talk to & even though i'm pretty much considered
an outcast from the rest of the student body, i'd much
rather have that then not have my ib family :)

chillin.

lifes been goin' alright.
i'm doing better and getting all caught up with school.
i came to a manifestation that i need to get in shape
& i will do so by having better eating habits & working
out, which is hard for me because i'm usually always
hungry and i live off of mcdonalds, rolled tacos, &
albertson's fried chicken. now i'll be eating grilled
chicken, grilled salmon, & salads :( this was
like the first weekend i've gone out in awhile. went
to sheri's debut & saw my hula sisters for the first
time in foreeeever, & even had to perform the finale
with them, which i haven't done in like a year or a
little less. saw old friends & made new ones which is
always nice. after that i went to a kickback & just
happened to see the lovely alyssa and brandi whom i
haven't kicked it with in ageeees. weird, i was all
scared to go to the kickback because i thought i
wouldn't know anyone and i'd be all intimidated & shit
but suprisingly i knew quite a few people there, which
was cool. mmm... today i just went to church, luckily
i didn't have to go to st. catherines with my dad &
could go to my own christian church, i guess my dad
still won't accept the fact that i converted out of
catholicism but whaaaatevs. went to pechanga with my
dad and got gelato & caught up on some things with
him which was cool. it's weird like not living with my
whole family anymore, lol. it's much more sooooothing
though, lol. i got some homework done today, not as
much as i would've liked to but i have late start
tommorow so i suppose i'll just wake up early & like
read ceremony & finish my math packet. hmmm.. ceremony's
a good book now that i've been getting more into it and
annotating more. i actually enjoy native american
literature now, everything is so much deeper. weeeell,
i shall end this post for today.

escuela.

school fckn sucks.

hard work.

working hard now, so i can play harder later.


i'm at a crossroads as to what i want to do in the future,
i thought i had everything all planned out, but i second guess
myself on everything.

what i want in life:
-a family & spending tons of quality time with them.
-money & the freedom to buy what i want, with money that i earned myself.
-a career that feels like my calling, what i'm supposed to do.
-to be versatile; write a book, own a restaurant, sell real estate.
-good friends, the kinds i can always rely on.
-hobbies & traveling around the world...
BUT, it seems like i can't have all these things all at one time, it's like one or the other. having to compromise my family for my job or having a career that's my calling, but it doesn't necessarily provide me with all the money i want. geeeeze.